just moved to austin, woohoo. ive got all my stuff in the house that im staying at and today i just started looking for jobs.whoa dang! so im biking through austin and on one bike ride i managed to scope out like fifty different rock climbing locations. good karma is finally starting to kick in. so turns out that a good friend of the person im staying with is living somewhere else.its not official but there proposing that i live in the house for FREE! all i would have to do is organize all of the stuff(they havent gotten there stuffed moved out yet), and paint some rooms. other than that it would be an all bills paid, rent free house, with all the utilities still in it, for a couple of months. kick ass.their great poeple. as well, the frisbee around here is god like. i went to a couple of games today and i thought i was a decent player.......no.these guys are ridiculous. anyways, going swimming and more job searching in a bit, off i go!!!

vanilla coke has just as many calories as regular coke. what the fuck. i could understand cherry coke, maybe the fruit thing goin on. but theres no way VANILLA SYRUP doesnt add calories to the drink.

this next section is not for those with weak stomachs

just so ya know, cockroaches scare the shit out of me.any other bug, catipillars, wasp, bees, even spiders. but ,because of my sketchy past with them, if i see a roach jump out at me ill nearly piss my pants. crickets, look, feel, and sound like roaches(just not the color), i can deal with them, just not roaches. this morning i woke up, like any other morning. i looked up, saw my bart simpsons beer poster(beer, now theres a temporary solution), i was even thinking, this is gonna be a good day. i look over at my clock, oh, theres a roach on my face........................................................................................*click*

 JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!!

i jump up(nearly dislocating my shoulder) and then it jumps(fly's) onto my nose, where its scratchy little stick legs are in my nostrils, its antennas are probing my eyes, and its slimy little abdomen touches the inner part of my lip(my mouth). gagging i react like any other person with super fast reflexes would do..... i smashed it against my face.ok, so it dawned on me about 2seconds after i did this that, maybe,  this was the wrong way to go about getting the roach off of my face. so i spent 5 minutes in the bathroom scrubbing roach guts, brains, and juices(the green, offwhite, and brown kind)off my face.and scrapping the legs, wings, and exoskeleton off my cheek and lips.i didnt eat anything until just now for fear of roach eggs or parts infesting my food. then i got called to work because a senile and ghetto old woman that works there was arrested for pulling a butcher knife on another employee.this was all before nine, when i didnt get to bed unil 5. not starting out as too great of a day.

oh well, theres always beer, 'the temporary solution'

so right now im at 40 hours without sleep thanks to the stimulating effects of cherry coke. as well ive got the biggest urge to get high and go eat at white castle right now. like seriously, if i had a car to  drive all the way to nashville tonight i would have made the journey. either that or i would have went to KFC, i hear there having a new special on the menu, the earnhardt jr. extra extra crispy chicken.....

on a lighter note, every one vote for kerry , he's on both sides of every issue, eventually youll have to agree with him.

Tag lines are getting further and further from the company or product they represent, but two recent examples that I’ve seen have pushed this to the limit.

Iceland “because Moms are heroes”

Well, maybe some moms ARE heroes, but I think that buying a whole load of frozen crap from a supermarket is a pretty fucking  strange way to measure heroism. Bringing up one or more children and/or looking after an elderly relative whilst holding down a job  - that’s a measure of heroism, but not getting in the car to go down the road to buy a load of convenience food from a cheap ass supermarket. That’s a measure of necessity, lack of imagination or even laziness, but not heroism.

Wal Mart “Let’s have some fun”

What?! What the fuck has this tag line got to do with Wal Mart?! Or are they admitting that they stock nothing of any use, so that the only reason you could possibly find to go there is to spice up your life. But how pathetically empty does your life have to be to find some fun in going to wal mart? I cannot imagine. (ah hem)

In response to this irritating trend, today im going to put the truth back into tag lines. No more marketing bullshit – tell it as it is!

Tesco “because no profit is too big”

McDonalds “You can’t be too fat”

Halfords “Cars: an extension of the penis”

Bacardi Breezer “Helping teenagers get pregnant since 1995”

Army "become a statistic"

Stairmaster Stair lifts "because you'd be covered in piss before you ever reached the top"

Atkins "because your obescity is revolting to everyone around you"

Nintendo "sucking the life out of kids since 1889"

thats it, im going to bed.

DREAD PIRATE VANE

your the one that every one wants to throw into the ocean. Not because they hate you,mind, but because of the smell. Like the Dread Pirate Robert you have a knack for making profit. you tend to blend into the background occasionally, but thats ok, because it's much easier to sneak up on people and disembowel them that way. Arr!

props for finding that one ian. very appropriate.